Due to fear and shame, the coming-out phase is an inner struggle for many boys and men that they go through alone. A vulnerable period when you have trouble accepting yourself or fear the reaction of others. You may also recognize this from your own experience.

With this mentoring program we can change this. As a mentor you guide someone six months before, during or after coming out. Just by being there for him, listening, supporting and encouraging him to follow his own path.

About the mentor program

How the program works
Who is this program for?
How to become a mentor?
 Six months of personal guidance before, during or after your coming out by a mentor.

 The mentor is there to support you. For example, by listening to you and sharing his experiences.

 During the program, the participant has access to optional workshops and the interactive module 'How to be gay'.
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 The mentor program offers support to boys and men who intend to come out to family, friends or colleagues.

 Participants are 18 years or older and speak Dutch or English. The program is international and online.

 Prior to the program, an intake interview will take place with a certified coach. It is important that a participant is motivated to work on his own development for 6 months.
 As a mentor you are 25+ years old and Dutch or English speaking.

 You're openly gay or bi sexual, so you know from your own experience what it's like to come out.

 You are motivated to mentor another gay man for 6 months. You are supported in this by a certified coach.

 After an intake interview, you follow an onboarding program in which you learn useful coaching skills.

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What do you discuss with your participant?

Your participant determines the agenda and what you discuss together. Below you will find examples of questions that you can explore together. During the onboarding program you will be provided with tools to help you start the conversation.
  • How do I know for sure I'm gay?
  • What does it mean to be (openly) gay?
  • Who do I tell? And who not?
  • How do I tell? And when is the 'right' time?
  • How do I hope people respond?
  • What if people react differently than I expect?
  • How do I indicate what I need from others?

Do you recognize yourself in this profile?

Are you 25+ and openly gay? Do you recognize yourself in the competences below? And do you want to support someone during their coming out? Sign up as a mentor.
During the onboarding program, we will discuss each of the competencies and how to implement them based on case studies.

What to expect
as a mentor?

As a mentor you first follow an online onboarding program:
 Intake meeting with certified coach
 Interactive modules with coaching tools
 Online workshop with other mentors

This will take about 4 hours in total.
The mentorship runs for 6 months and consists of:
 Match session with coach & participant
 Session every other week with participant
 Monthly progress call with coach

This will take about 1,5 hours weekly.

Sign up as a mentor

At the moment there are ten spots available.

Frequently Asked Questions

What can I expect from the program?

In principle, the program lasts six months. During that period you will have every other week an online meeting with your participant, for example via Zoom or FaceTime. Together you discuss what the other person wants to achieve and how you as a mentor can support this. For example, if, when and how your participant wants to share his sexual orientation with people around him, what it means to be openly gay and how and where you can meet other gay men.

What does it cost to participate?

Participants pay a one-time fee of 75 euros to participate in the program. This gives them access to:
- The intake interview with a certified coach
- Six months of guidance by you as a mentor
- The interactive module 'How To Be Gay'
- Monthly workshops about being gay

What if someone hasn't come out after six months?

There can be all kinds of circumstances that make it unsafe or good for someone to tell others about their sexual orientation. And that's totally fine. Whether and when someone comes out is entirely up to them. The aim of this program is to support boys and men with the help they need.

Can someone participate if they are under 18 years old?

Yes, then I need a signed agreement from his parent/guardian. A participant can email this to

What if someone still needs support after six months?

In principle, the program lasts six months. In addition to the biweekly conversations, your participant can also participate in interactive workshops. For example about discovering your own sexuality, setting boundaries or finding your ideal partner. If someone needs additional guidance after six months, we will discuss together what their question is and which guidance is best suited to this.

What if I don't click with my participant?

You will be matched based on interests, language, religion and other preferences that you and the participant can indicate in advance. If it turns out that there is no match, the coach will look for a solution. This may mean that the participant is matched with another mentor.
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