Coming Out Mentor Program

Due to fear and shame, the coming-out phase is often an inner struggle that boys and men go through alone. With this mentoring program we want to change this. For half a year you can rely on the knowledge and experience of a man who listens to you, supports you and encourages you to go your own way.
€ 75      6 months      1-on-1 sessions with a mentor
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A mentor who understands and supports you in an important, vulnerable phase in your life

Finding out you're gay can feel overwhelming. The doubts about your (sexual) identity and the consequences that you may not be able to oversee. You may think you're on your own. That no one understands how you feel. 

But there are many men who have gone before you. Who, just like you, have struggled with their sexuality. And they know how exciting, unsafe and lonely this can feel. In this program you will be paired with one of them. To investigate at your own pace whether, when and how you want to come out.

About the program

How does the program work?
Who is this program for?
Who are the mentors?
 Before, during or after your coming out you will be guided by a mentor for six months.

 The mentor is there for you, to support you. For example, by listening to you and sharing his own experiences.

 Incl. access to optional workshops and the interactive module 'How to be gay' full of useful links and background information to help you stand your ground as a gay man.

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 The mentoring program offers support to boys and men who intend to come out to family, friends or colleagues or who have recently come out. 

 If you are 18 years or older and speak Dutch or English, you can participate in the program. Because the program is international and online, it doesn't matter where you live.

 Prior to the program, an intake interview will take place with a certified coach. It is important that you are motivated to work on your own development for 6 months.

 A mentor is a 25+ man who is openly gay or bi sexual and therefore knows from personal experience what it's like to come out.

 Each mentor follows an onboarding program in which he learns a number of coaching skills.

 The mentor is there for you. To support you, listen to you and encourage you. The mentor does not tell you what to do. Ultimately, you decide whether, how and when you come out of the closet.

 The mentor role is on a voluntary basis. He is supported in this by a certified coach.

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How does
the program work?

The program runs for six months. Here's what to expect from the moment you sign up.

1. Create an account

Click on the participation button and create a new account. Enter your name and email address. You pay a one-time fee of 75 euros. With these costs we can keep this platform running.

4. Meet your mentor

Based on your request for help, language, interests and any other preferences, we will match you with a mentor.

2. Fill in the intake form

Once logged in, you see the intake form. This form helps us to get a picture of who you are, what you hope to achieve with this program and what you expect from a mentor.

5. Schedule biweekly sessions

Together with your mentor you discuss how and when you will have contact. For example via FaceTime or Zoom. In these conversations you discuss what concerns you and how your mentor can support you in this.

3. Schedule an introduction

Part of the intake process is a meeting with a certified coach. Together we will investigate how we can best support you.

6. Follow workshops (optional)

Every month there are free interactive workshops that you can participate in. In these workshops you will meet other participants and we will go deeper into themes about being gay.

What do you discuss with your mentor?

What you discuss with your mentor is entirely up to you.
Below you will find examples of questions that you can explore together.
  • How do I know for sure I'm gay?
  • What does it mean to be (openly) gay?
  • Who do I tell? And who not?
  • How do I tell it? And when is the 'right' time?
  • How do I hope people will react?
  • What if people react differently than I expect?
  • How do I indicate what I need from others?

Sign up for this program

Haven't you come out (completely) yet? Do you find it exciting or difficult to take the next step? And would you like a mentor who supports you for six months? Then sign up. There are currently 10 spots available.

Click here for terms and conditions.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it cost to participate?

You pay a one-time fee of 75 euros to participate.
This gives you access to:
- The intake with a certified coach
- Six months of guidance from your personal mentor
- The interactive module 'How To Be Gay'
- Monthly workshops on being gay

What can I expect from the program?

In principle, the program lasts six months. During that period you will have every other week an online session with your mentor, for example via Zoom or FaceTime. Together you discuss what you want to achieve and how your mentor can support you in this. For example, if and how you want to share your sexual orientation with people around you, what it means to be openly gay and how and where you can meet other gay men.

What if I haven't come out after six months?

There can be all kinds of circumstances that make it not safe or good for you to tell others about your sexual orientation. And that's totally fine. Whether and when you come out is entirely up to you. The purpose of this program is to support you with the help you need.

Can I participate if I am under 18 years old?

Yes, but then I need a signed agreement from your parent/guardian. You can email this to contact@reneluisman.nl.

What if after six months I still need support?

In principle, the program lasts six months. In addition to the biweekly conversations with your mentor, you can participate in monthly interactive workshops. For example about discovering your own sexuality, setting boundaries or finding your ideal partner. If you need additional guidance after six months, we will discuss together what your question is and which guidance is best suited to this.

What if I don't click with my mentor?

You will be matched based on interests, language, religion and other preferences that you can indicate in advance. If it turns out that there is no match, the coach will look for a solution. This may mean that you will be matched with another mentor.
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