Four ways to build self-confidence

Mar 21 / Rene Luisman
Your sexual orientation basically says nothing about self-esteem, self-confidence or self-image. But when you struggle with sexual orientation, it often goes hand in hand with insecurity about who you are and how you come across to others.
It's perfectly normal to feel insecure about your body from time to time, especially when you're dealing with social pressures and beauty ideals. However, it becomes a problem when it prevents you from engaging in and enjoying social activities.
When you're insecure about your body, your first inclination may be to do everything you can to change it. To get one step closer to your ideal body through exercise and nutrition. But having a perfect body does not guarantee a happy life. It is much more important to strive for a healthy body and mind, and to learn to love yourself just the way you are.
With these four ways you build your self-confidence:

1. Appreciate your body for what it does rather than how it looks

Every body is unique. Try to focus on the positive aspects of your body. Make a list of the things your body can do and what it does for you. This way you shift the attention from how you look, to what your body can and does. By emphasizing these positive qualities time and time again, you learn to appreciate your body more and in time the relationship with yourself changes.

2. Focus on a healthy lifestyle

A healthy lifestyle helps improve your body image and boost your self-confidence. For example, by exercising regularly, relaxing and eating nutritious food. A healthy lifestyle is not only about appearance, but also about improving your overall health and well-being. And by taking good care of yourself, your self-esteem will increase.

3. Surround yourself with positive people

Hang out with people who support you and appreciate you for who you are. Avoid people who are negative and who make you feel insecure. By spending time with people who encourage you and help you grow, you can help each other bring out the best in you. For example, by sharing your goals and discussing how you can support each other in this.

4. Be kind to yourself

It's easy to be critical of yourself. To compare yourself to others and beat yourself up for your shortcomings. For some people this helps to challenge yourself to get better, but for most people it mainly fuels your insecurity. Better be kind to yourself and try to look at your mistakes and imperfections with understanding. Everybody makes mistakes; that doesn't make you less of a person. You can learn from your mistakes.

Remember that you are worth loving without any need to change!

You read an article by Gay Men Coaching

How I can support you:
  • Self Love Course - Learn step by step how to build a positive self image.
  • Men's Group - Find out how other gay men deal with issues such as intimacy and sexuality.
  • Coming-out program - If you could use some support before, during or after your coming-out.
  • Individual coaching - If you want to improve the relationship with yourself or others.
And more about me and my approach:
Follow me on:
Created with