Grindr AI tool automates dating; the pros and cons
Oct 9
/
Rene Luisman
Dating app Grindr, popular among homosexual men, is developing an AI tool that can conduct conversations and even plan dates in the future. The chat function should be available to everyone from 2027, a small group of users are already testing it out. Grindr reports this to The Wall Street Journal. René Luisman, a relationship coach for gay men, on the pros and cons of this new feature.
"We all know that we're not on Grindr to play chess," says Siem. "It's about sex dates. That doesn't mean that nothing can grow from that, but in 99% of the cases that's not the case." Siem compares the app to Tinder. "There you create a nice profile, talk for three days and then maybe make a date. On Grindr I talk for thirty minutes and then it ends somewhere."
In conversation with a person or a computer?
For such a 'hook-up' Siem doesn't need all kinds of automated questions or a table at a restaurant that is automatically reserved. He even finds it frightening. “Then I don’t know whether I’m talking to a person or a computer. I’ll turn the function off, I know that for sure.”
René Luisman, relationship coach for homosexual men, does see the advantage of the new function. “I notice that some men find it difficult to connect,” he says. The relationship coach sees it happening that this tool comes up with suggestions that you hadn’t thought of at first and that broadens your horizons. “It won’t be the Holy Grail, that you’re presented with your ideal partner, but it can help.”
‘Cancer gay! I’ll beat you to death!’
Siem sees a different agenda behind the development: “It seems as if they want to cover up the truth with this tool,” he says. Siem is referring to the idea that Grindr is for sex, not so much for relationships. As a user, he would rather see more measures regarding safety. “I once cancelled a date because it didn’t feel right. Then I was insulted,” says Siem. “‘Cancer gay! I will beat you up!’ Such men are on the app to provoke people.” He speaks of his luck that he did not go to that appointment. According to Siem, it appears to happen more often that men who think they have a date via Grindr are beaten up.
Siem sees a different agenda behind the development: “It seems as if they want to cover up the truth with this tool,” he says. Siem is referring to the idea that Grindr is for sex, not so much for relationships. As a user, he would rather see more measures regarding safety. “I once cancelled a date because it didn’t feel right. Then I was insulted,” says Siem. “‘Cancer gay! I will beat you up!’ Such men are on the app to provoke people.” He speaks of his luck that he did not go to that appointment. According to Siem, it appears to happen more often that men who think they have a date via Grindr are beaten up.
Siem believes that Grindr has a responsibility in that area. “It remains a risk when you meet someone,” he says. “But I would like to see verified accounts so that you know who you are meeting and that you can ‘rate’ each other afterwards, that you can indicate that consent has been requested and that you keep it clean.”
Privacy concerns
“We cannot avoid the fact that AI will play a major role in our lives,” says coach Luisman. “Grindr is a pioneer in this case and I am an advocate of development.” He is concerned about the privacy of the users. “What do they do with all the data of those worldwide users?”, he wonders. Grindr has not responded to the questions submitted.
“Let's stay realistic,” Luisman concludes. “When you meet each other in a restaurant, café or in the bedroom, it is also about your own communication skills. That requires more than an app.”
“Let's stay realistic,” Luisman concludes. “When you meet each other in a restaurant, café or in the bedroom, it is also about your own communication skills. That requires more than an app.”
*** This article was written and published by Ey! Daily. For privacy reasons, Siem's name has been changed by the editors. ***
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